Sunday, June 29, 2014

I Used to be Shy

I'm shy, but I used to be really shy. Like, get-a-stomach-ache-when-I-meet-new-people shy. I wouldn't play games, talk to strangers, put forth my best effort in dance class, or even answer questions in class. It was bad. And then one day I just got tired of being shy. I was tired of letting it hold me back and keep me from having fun and trying new things, so I decided to stop.

I started out by doing things that made me nervous every chance I got. I auditioned for every play, volunteered for every musical, and joined every dance class I could find. I never did these things alone, only if I had a friend for emotional support. It helped some; I became more confident in my talents and had more fun, but I still clammed up and made myself sick if a stranger was around.

The biggest thing that helped me to stop being shy was Sam. My boyfriend is the most outgoing and gregarious person I have ever met. He thrives on social gatherings- he's basically my polar opposite. Before I met him my bestfriend knew how shy I was, so she helped me out. She would answer questions for me in public and she had a way of making people think I was social when she was the one doing all the talking. I loved her for it, and I still do, but Sam does the opposite and it was such a blessing. He would take me to parties and then leave me alone with a group of people I didn't know, or he would force me to join in for a game of frisbee even if I said I didn't want to. He never answered questions, made decisions, or asked for help in stores on my behalf, so I was forced to do these things myself.

As time's gone on, I've continued to do things that make me uncomfortable. I go to fairs by myself, I sign up for classes that sound fun even when no one will do it with me, and I talk to strangers. I decided not to be shy, and I am so much happier without that burden weighing me down. I still get nervous trying new things and meeting new people, but I've taught myself to push through it and it's led me to amazing opportunities and wonderful friendships that the old me never would have had, not in a million years.

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Monday, June 23, 2014


Yep, you read that right; on Saturday my blog turned one! I can't believe it's already been a year since I started Cats, Cuddling, and Carrot Cake. I have loved being a part of this little world of blogging, and I am so grateful for the experiences and friendships it's brought me. I still have a lot of aspirations for my baby blog, like learning to post on a regular basis, maybe? Definitely not a strength for me... and I hope that the next year brings just as much happiness and even more growth

SO ANYWAYS, in honor of my blogiversary I want to reminisce on the last year in my corner of the internet. If you click that little "popular" button at the top of the page you can see what your favorite posts are, but I want to tell you what MY favorite (and less clicked) posts are.

I love making lists, and I also love talking about myself. I mean, that's why I have a blog, right?

I love this post because I got to use all my favorite TSM's, and also because Luke Bryan's face is in it. #Duh

This post is basically all my best ideas put into one post. The other day I saw the coffee mug in Dollar General, so I'm pretty sure they read my blog. Can you please make the nail polish happen, DG?

I liked this post because it gave you a little glimpse into a very important part of my life: my phone. Plus it was fun putting this post together and pretending my iPhone had an outfit!

I may have lived in the South, but I am not a Southerner. Mainly because I will never accept corn dogs as a side dish.

What's your favorite post of mine?

Thank you all so much for reading along with me as I've moved more times than I know off the top of my head, endured a long distance relationship twice, turned 23, started a new job, and whatever else I've done in the last year. I love you all to the moon and back; you are what keeps me coming back here (almost) every day. Happy Blogiversary to me!

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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Britney Did It

Do you ever feel like just dragging yourself out of bed is as much as you can handle for the day? And if you're like me, even that happens fifteen minutes later than it should. That's how I've been feeling every day lately. Everything has felt like more effort than I wanted to put forth, and basically what I'm saying is that I am in serious need of a vacation. That unintentional one I took from my blog last week didn't count. There's one quote that's keeping me going until my real vacation in July, though.

Not only does this make me laugh so hard I pee, but it honestly does put things into perspective. Sometimes I feel like I don't know how I'm gonna make it through, but it could always be worse. Sure, I might have an insatiable candy craving, no motivation to finish this court summary, and a dad from Mississippi calling nonstop, but at least I didn't have a mental break down and shave my head. Am I right?

How do you make it through the longest of days?

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Friday, June 6, 2014

Summer Bucket List

It's almost Summer, but it sure doesn't feel that way around these parts. This will be my first summer out of college and with a grown-up job, and I gotta tell ya that working full time through the best part of the year does not sound fun to me. Who decided that adults need jobs? And why didn't I become a teacher?

But anyways, to try and get myself into the summer spirit I decided to link up with Erin and write myself a bucket list for this summer!

-Swim more than once

-Cook on the grill

-Wear all of my swimsuits

-Drink beer on a dock

-Go to the beach. A lot.

-Spend as much time outside as possible

-Drive with the windows down

-Have a picnic

-Buy more flip flops

-Discover the best local ice cream shop

-Go camping

-Go for a run lol

-Go to lots of fairs and festivals

-Attend a concert- it doesn't have to be good but it does have to be outdoors

-Brush up on my mini-golf skills

-Spend lots of time in my hammock

-Feel confident in my swimsuit

-Wear hot pink as often as possible

-Hug my boyfriend so tight his eyes pop out (Is it July yet?)

-Make a perfect piƱa colada

What's on your summer bucket list?

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Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Time I Said "Stop"

In case you missed it, #yesallwomen was trending on twitter last week. As I scrolled through, reading the stories, realities, and fears of other women, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Why does this hashtag even need to be a thing? Why are we, as women, forced to live in fear and left feeling guilty after we are violated?

Women's rights, rape culture, slut-shaming, etc. have been hot topics for awhile, and they should be. It's important! I've especially noticed it popping up lately with the whole Elliot Rodger thing and the #yesallwomen twitter trend. When tragedies happen people always go a little crazy, but scrolling through #yesallwomen makes it very clear that sexual assault is something most women fear every single day.

By age 18, 1 in 4 girls have been sexually abused.* How scary is that?! Why are women so often viewed as sexual objects without the right to make our own choices about who touches us and when? It honestly just blows my mind and absolutely disgusts me how much this happens. Women have to wear shorts under their dresses when they go to bars, and have to "watch out" if they choose to crowd surf at a concert. Why does that happen?! Why would anyone touch a woman who didn't give them permission? I really, seriously cannot even fathom that mindset. I've experienced this kind of behavior in my own life, and I doubt that there's one woman who hasn't. Cat calls, getting grabbed at parties, being told that I 'owed' someone sex for one reason or another- these are all things that have happened to me numerous times, and they aren't even the memories that stick with me.

I've shared this story with very few people in my real life, so the fact that I'm about to share it with the whole blog world is a little insane. Don't be surprised if I chicken out and take it down later.

When I was a freshman in college a guy I'd known for awhile asked me on a date. He was a nice guy and we had a lot of mutual friends, so I went. We didn't live in a very fun town so our "date" was just a movie at his place, which was typical where I went to school. After hanging out for a few hours he kissed me, and I was okay with that. I was having a good time, and I am the kind of girl who kisses on the first date, so yes, we were kissing. When his hands started to move south that's when I got uncomfortable. I pushed him away, and he just did it again. After pushing him away multiple times I realized he wasn't getting the hint. I started to say "stop," but he wasn't stopping. He had his hands in my pants, and no matter how many times I pushed him away or how forcefully I said stop, he wasn't stopping. He didn't, in fact, until I burst into tears. He started apologizing, saying that he didn't know what I meant, that he was sorry. It didn't matter though. He'd touched me when I didn't want him to, when I said that I didn't want him to, and that's not okay. I didn't know what to do. I should have insisted that he take me home right then, I should have called a friend, I should have driven myself in the first place, but I didn't do any of those things. I ended up crying myself to sleep on his bed that night.

I remember the next day, after he finally did take me home, I felt like I was living outside my body. I was screaming inside my head and feeling like a zombie on the outside. I was so ashamed that I let myself be in that situation and afraid of what my friends would say if I told them, so I was left dealing with it inside my own mind. I had gym class that day, and I got yelled at by the professor for not being focused. When I burst into tears right in the middle of the weight room, he yelled at me again. I felt more alone that day than I'd ever felt.

When I think back to that incident, I want to kick myself for not doing anything, for not sticking up for myself. After that night he acted like everything was perfectly normal; he even tried to kiss me in the car the next morning. He kept talking to me in class, or hugging me when he saw me on campus. I usually ignored him and I never hugged him back, but I don't think he even noticed (big surprise there, right?). I should have said something, told him that everything wasn't okay and what he did was a big deal. I often wonder if he ever thinks about that night, or if he still feels as sorry as he said he was. I doubt it. I was able to snap back to normalcy pretty easily after that first day, but I'll never forget that experience and he probably hasn't thought about it since.

No, I wasn't raped. I wasn't attacked or physically assaulted, and what i went through wasn't nearly as bad as what a lot of women have gone through, but it's something that I never, ever want to happen to me again. Most importantly, it's something that shouldn't have happened in the first place. When a woman says stop she shouldn't have to repeat herself.

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*Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006
I also want to note that by age 18, 1 in 6 boys have been sexually abused. Child sexual abuse is a serious issue for both genders, but today we're just talking about #yesallwomen

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Confess Sesh

Vodka and Soda

I had a post ready for Monday about sexual assault and #yesallwomen, but I chickened out and didn't post it. I didn't post yesterday because I worked a 13 hour day and didn't even have the energy to find something in my drafts to post. I can't handle grown up life. 

I was hoping to be really into this season of The Bachelorette, but to be honest I can't really stand Andi (even though she's my sister)

I've been searching everywhere for the perfect navy and white skirt... Why can you never find the clothes your looking for at the right time?

I wish I had more close friends

There is nothing that turns me off more than sweaty guys.

I absolutely cannot stand one of my best friend's girlfriend. I don't know what to do about it, and I feel like a really shitty friend.

My question form is still open

I want someone to plan a really amazing, bachelorette-style date. (It doesn't have to be that extravagant, but that well planned would be really meaningful)

I mean, is an ice castle really too much to ask?

I get really bent out of shape about bad customer service. How hard is to be polite?!

I'm watching The Bachelorette while I type this... That was probably blatantly obvious to anyone who watches the show. Haha!

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