Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Oh Target

Okay, I think we all know how what Target can do to you. You walk in for some toothpaste and bananas, you walk out with 7 bags and never even made it to the produce aisle. What is it about Target that just sucks you in and makes you forget all common sense when it comes to throwing things in your basket? Well, I decided to dissect a trip to Target; maybe I can figure out what went went wrong...

I pull into the parking lot, grab the first spot I see, and walk into heaven the store. Before I can even grab a basket I see Starbucks... It's fine, I'll just get an iced coffee, that's cheap(er). Oh, but I didn't have lunch today. You should never shop on an empty stomach; that is what makes you buy things you don't need. Okay, an Oprah Chai Tea (shut up, I deserve it), a cheese Danish, and just add this gourmet gum- the proceeds help give shelter to the homeless! And NOW, I am ready to shop.

First stop: the toiletries section. All I need is some make-up remover. That is it, nothing else. Wait, I've never seen this nail polish before! You can never have too many shade of coral, right? Into the basket it goes. And now, what did I come for? RIGHT! Makeup remover. That should be right over... Is that coconut shampoo?! I am so sick of that Paul Mitchell stuff- like how long can one bottle last? I should get this. And am I almost out of shaving cream? No, Amanda, you bought some last week. Get out of the toiletries section before you go buy everything.

I swing over to the food and throw some snacks in my basket. The ice cream is on sale so I grab some. I throw some freezer meals in my basket and I get some eggs- you can never have enough eggs. I mean, this stuff is food. This is a need. I tell myself not to feel bad as I toss a few more things into my overflowing basket.  I should really pop over to the home goods section, too. Maybe they have something really cute on clearance. If it's not on clearance, though, I won't buy it. I mean, except this beach towel. And that picture frame. I grab a couple more things and then make a quick sweep through the stationary. I grab a couple things... a funny cat book? Need that. And this gold stapler. When I can't fit anymore I head to checkout.

I have to walk through the clothes to get to the registers. I'm not actually looking for clothes, but the fastest route is through the clothes, that's all. Hey, look! They restocked my favorite racerback tanks! This striped one would go perfectly with my new shorts. I'll grab a pink one, too. They go great with leggings, plus you really can't beat $8. I should get an orange one, too! No, Amanda, put that one back. You do not need three (more) tank tops. Okay, pink and stripes. Good job, girlfriend.

Before I leave Target I have to stop in the dollar section. I really did want a little basket for the bar. That's what, $3? And how much damage can I really do in a dollar section? Don't answer that.. So anyways, off I go! I need this and this and that... I need to check out.

I walk to the nearest register, throw my things on the belt, and make small talk with the cashier as she rings up my things. And my total is... $45,526.32. But, Target gives a five cent discount for bringing reusable bags (which I always do), so I'll chalk this up as a win!

I trudge out to the parking lot, put my groceries in the car, and... wait, I forgot my makeup remover! Back into Target I go...

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  1. Bahahahah!!! This was spot on! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

  2. I'm so glad we don't have a Target close by, they would totally get half my pay check every two weeks if I did.