Why Blogging Makes Me Hate My Life

Yesterday I decided to be Suzy Homemaker and cook a delicious dinner for my roommate and myself.  Broccoli Cheddar Soup in Homemade Bread Bowls. Why Sam hasn't showed up on my doorstep with an engagement ring is beyond me.

 But anyways, as I was putting this picture on every form of social media I have to show the world how domestic I am, I thought to myself about the bloggers who are always cooking stuff like this. And then I started thinking about the bloggers who are always doing other things I just don't have the motivation to do. And then I started feeling inadequate, obvs. And this post was born.

I rarely cook, and I don't meal plan.
Bloggers are always cooking delicious gourmet meals, and I'm over here like "Which Lean Cuisine so I want for dinner?" And then, not only are they cooking five course dinners every damn day, they're planning them out ahead of time. Like, how do people meal plan? I don't know what I want to eat until I'm hungry. Plus, what if I planned to make tacos, but I really just don't feel like chopping lettuce today? If I meal planned for the week it would look something like this:

Monday: Lean Cuisine
Tuesday: Go to Sam's and ask him to feed me
Wednesday: Lean Cuisine
Thursday: Lemon Pepper Chicken with Broccoli and Mashed Potatoes Lean Cuisine
Friday: Beer

I don't look cute 95% of the time.

How is it that all of these bloggers always have perfect hair, perfect nails, perfect makeup, and then a Pinterest-worthy outfit to go with it? Most of the time you'll find me in yoga pants with a pretty tragic bun on top of my head. And if it's any shirt other than a tshirt from my sorority days then it probably doesn't see the outside of my closet very often. And let's talk about my nail polish. Right now I have three nails painted three different colors because I was testing colors at Walmart... three days ago. And I think their might be a piece of grass dried in my toenail polish. #IwishIwasjoking

I have no disgustingly cute love story.

Have you ever noticed how precious everyone's love stories are in blogland? Well, if you read me & Sam's love story, you know that calling it unromantic would be an understatement. I mean, unless your idea of romance is him making out with another girl to make me jealous, and me finally agreeing to be his girlfriend so that no one else could have him. If that's the case, then we're freaking adorable. On top of our not-so-cute love story, we're pretty much never cute in our every day life. I think the sweetest thing he's said to me lately is "It took awhile before I was okay farting in front of you." 

My life is pretty damn boring.

Since it's basically blogisphere law to post a weekend recap on Mondays, we always get to see what an awesome weekend our bloggy friends had. But you know something about my weekends? They're usually pretty lame. A typical weekend for me is not realizing it's Friday, spending all day Saturday laying on Sam's couch while he plays Grand Theft Auto, and then watching football and playing Candy Crush on Sunday. Not really a whole lot of blog material in there, right? I always wish my life was full of Fireball shots like Whitney, or hiking around breathtaking waterfalls like Erin, but it's just not.

I cannot post every day, at the same exact time.
Seriously though, how do bloggers manage this one? I can't even manage to get a post up five days a week, but at the same time each day? You must be joking. Where do bloggers get the inspiration for so many damn posts so early in the day? Can somebody send some of that inspiration my way? I'm working on this one, though. It's in my long-term goals.

When I think about all these things that other bloggers do that I can't, I start to feel pretty bad. But then I remember that I, too, have some winning characteristics. I can eat an entire package of saltines in one sitting, I can seriously rock a pair of pajama pants, and I can watch netflix like it's my day job. Maybe life isn't so bad after all!